Bible College

What can I say. This year has been so great in many ways, but has also had its challenging moments. Moving out here was an adventure, meeting my housemates was a complete joy, attending classes I have been yearning to take for the past year was fulfilling, and learning about the Lord has been absolutely mind-blowing and incredible, etc. I could keep listing off all the good things about this past year, but through all these joys, there has also been times of challenges and trials.

In this blog post, I will talk about what I have learned from attending such an incredible Institute. I have learned so much about myself and God from moving out here to attend Moody. First, I have learned what true community is like. I have seen community played out here in a very encouraging manner, as well as in a very discouraging manner. Mostly speaking, the community out here has been very healing to me. I have never been in a place where I am constantly being hugged, asked how I am doing, and having a lot of people intentionally pursue a relationship with me. However, in a couple ways the community out here has been very discouraging. I have realized over the semester and year, that Christian community is messy. There are hurts and pains involved. It hasn't always been fun. Sometimes, I want to give up. It's hard. I am praying though, that I would allow God to work in my heart to change my perspective on Christian community. In regards to the ups and downs though, I have been able to look to God and say, "You are good."

Secondly, I have realized that doubt can be good... as long as it doesn't consume you. However, being completely vulnerable and transparent, I feel as if I am consumed by doubt. I have realized that an area of sin I struggle with, is doubt. I feel as if I am constantly doubting my faith in the Lord here. It's almost debilitating. Sometimes, I feel as if there is no connection between me and the Lord. And sometimes, I just want to give up on faith all together. I feel as though I am sometimes sinking, just trying to stay afloat in the classroom. I think this is mainly because my understanding of Christ is so weak. I am not well educated when it comes to the Bible, and it has been very hard for me to understand the deeper concepts being talked about.  However, I know that even in this struggle... the Lord can and I believe will reveal Himself to me in a miraculous way.

Lastly, I have begun to realize, that God really does take care of His Children. He has blessed me with people in Spokane as well as at Moody that really care about me. He put these people in my life for a reason. He also provides. I can't even begin to tell you all the stories about how God has provided and continues to provide for me here. Even though I am totally questioning His existence, I can tell you that this provision is just a coincidence. It is part of an even greater story that I can't see yet.

There's really just so much that I could say in this blog post. I could keep listing all the ways that God has changed me and how He is revealing Himself to me. In conclusion to all this, I just know that God has a plan for my life. He has a redemptive plan. I am attending this school for a purpose, and I am excited for what will begin to unfold and take place during these next three years. I just hope that I am always continuing to look towards Him in everything I do. May these next three years not be wasted.