Sweatshirt Girl

Most of you know that I am not one that is known to be "girly". I often refer to myself as "sweatshirt" girl and probably come off to people as a girl who is laid back and athletic, which isn't a bad thing at all.  My normal attire would probably be... jeans, running shoes, and a sweatshirt. Or, sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It's what is most comfortable for me to wear. 

The reason why I dress the way I do is because of fear. Wearing sweatshirts is a way that I can protect myself. Growing up, I was sexually abused and guys sexually harassed me and made uncomfortable comments about my body all the time. It made me self conscious, and since then... literally sweatshirts is all that I wear. I feel safe and this way, none of my body is showing. I am writing this because I feel that it's time to break free from this "fear" of mine. This fear of getting hurt once again. 

I understand that most of you are probably thinking, "Why do we care what she wears and how she feels? Why should it matter? She's talking about wearing a sweatshirt... that's really stupid that it bothers her this much."  Well, to be honest... it really shouldn't matter what I wear or what other people think of me. What I wear really doesn't define who I am. Sure, it probably says something about the type of person I am, for example...being athletic, girly, a hipster, etc. But... it doesn't define me.  I know who I am in Christ and that is all that should matter. He says that I am beautiful in His eyes. I often refer to this verse when I struggle with beauty and my self-image, aka... now. 

 1 Peter 3:3-4, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self,the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

You know, I don't necessarily feel like it's a sin for me to want to look "good". I don't think so at all. I need to break free from this fear of getting hurt again... and that calls for, changing my attire. And not completely. Not completely at all. This doesn't mean that I will never wear a sweatshirt again in my life. Haha, yeah right.  I just need to not rely on "wearing a sweatshirt" to protect me or make me feel safe. Jesus should be that in my life. 

But... if any of you girls are reading this and you are girly...

Please, help a girl out. Help her be girly. 

So, there's my rant. 

Hope you enjoyed it. 

XOXO