Click.
Click.
Click.
It's amazing to where your fingers can lead you.
Never would you think of clicking on it, but you do.
Your mind becomes so wrapped up in what you are looking at, but it is so hard to escape.
You are trapped, being sucked in more and more as time goes by.
You do it because it satisfies you, and because you want that.
You want to feel something, and you most importantly want to feel loved.
You want someone to love you like that, but also just LOVE you for who you are.
So you sit by your computer as time goes by, and you watch what happens.
You think, "What if someone walked in? How in the world am I ever going
to come up with an excuse? I've been looking at this for 30 minutes!"
So you sit there in fear, but you can't click out of the window that you are in.
It is like your mind is in another world, being controlled.
You never ever thought you would struggle with it, but you do.
You've struggled with it off and on since 6th grade.
You were a curious sheltered little girl, and no one told you what happened to you when you were younger. You were just curious as to how everything worked.
You feel absolutely disgusting while looking at it, but yet... you are living in denial.
You tell yourself, "It really isn't that bad, is it? I can get away with it just one more
time..." And so you believe it, and you believe that it isn't that bad.
If you are happy, then who cares right??
So... you sit there in your struggle and you keep on letting it get worse.
People tell you that what you are doing isn't right, and you listen with one ear.
When will YOU finally get it?
When will you actually start listening to them?
When will your heart EVER be soft enough to give it up and listen?
You listen, yes... but later, you shrug the conversation off like it isn't a big deal. One day you are going to have to give it up, or it will destroy your marriage and your precious heart.
Click.
Click.
It's amazing to where your fingers can lead you.
Never would you think of clicking on it, but you do.
Your mind becomes so wrapped up in what you are looking at, but it is so hard to escape.
You are trapped, being sucked in more and more as time goes by.
You do it because it satisfies you, and because you want that.
You want to feel something, and you most importantly want to feel loved.
You want someone to love you like that, but also just LOVE you for who you are.
So you sit by your computer as time goes by, and you watch what happens.
You think, "What if someone walked in? How in the world am I ever going
to come up with an excuse? I've been looking at this for 30 minutes!"
So you sit there in fear, but you can't click out of the window that you are in.
It is like your mind is in another world, being controlled.
You never ever thought you would struggle with it, but you do.
You've struggled with it off and on since 6th grade.
You were a curious sheltered little girl, and no one told you what happened to you when you were younger. You were just curious as to how everything worked.
You feel absolutely disgusting while looking at it, but yet... you are living in denial.
You tell yourself, "It really isn't that bad, is it? I can get away with it just one more
time..." And so you believe it, and you believe that it isn't that bad.
If you are happy, then who cares right??
So... you sit there in your struggle and you keep on letting it get worse.
People tell you that what you are doing isn't right, and you listen with one ear.
When will YOU finally get it?
When will you actually start listening to them?
When will your heart EVER be soft enough to give it up and listen?
You listen, yes... but later, you shrug the conversation off like it isn't a big deal. One day you are going to have to give it up, or it will destroy your marriage and your precious heart.
Dieing to self and giving up is the hardest and at the same time Most rewarding thing we as christians can ever do. Unfortunately it's also one of those things that you don't just do once, you have to do it nearly everyday and sometimes multiple times a day. Way to go sister!!! <3 U!!
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