Sometimes...

Sometimes...

I don't feel normal. 

Honestly. 

I was a surprise baby. 

I had a porn addiction. 

I was molested.

I was extremely suicidal.

I didn't receive a lot of affection.

I was bullied. 

I'm shy.

I'm an introvert in an extroverted world.

I was sexually harassed. 

My parents are divorced.

Etc. 

Sometimes, I just don't feel normal. All of this "stuff" is really hard to heal from and is hard to overcome. I feel a little "different" from others because of what I've gone through. My circumstances have influenced how I act, and who I am becoming. But I have to remember that what I've gone through, is by no means who I am. 

Sometimes I look at my life and am overwhelmed by what I've gone through. But sometimes I just praise Him for all of it. Every trial has made more of who I am today. It's made me more empathetic to those who are walking in what I have walked. It has made me a strong woman of the Lord. It has also broadened my ministry to the lost and hurting in so many ways. And for just those reasons, I am THANKFUL. 

I will just continue to find my identity in the one who created my heart. I know who I am in the eyes of my Father, but sometimes...I also am distracted and forget. I am loved. I am pure. I am made on purpose and with a purpose. I am beautiful. And I do have a calling. Here's to the next year of really BELIEVING who I am in His eyes and not just knowing about who I am to Him. My past is not my identity. Who He says I am, IS my identity.