I have many things in this life that I can improve on, and I am sure that you have a list of things you could improve on as well. Maybe your list of things you could improve on are: being a better parent, showing up to class on time, not speeding, going to church regularly, etc. Your list will most likely look different from everyone that you meet. What I am trying to say here, is that you will always have a list that you could improve on. The truth is, is that we will never be able to reach perfection in this life. If you have lived long enough, you know that. We never feel as though where we should be. All of us are far from perfection in this life. One day though, we will see the
Glory and perfection of Jesus Christ in Heaven.
In my own life, I have a pretty big list of stuff that I could improve on. Questions that I struggle with on a pretty consistent basis are, "Why am I a quiet person and why do I shut down easily? Why do I struggle with anxiety/fear? Why do I suck at cooking? Why am I so scared of physical touch and sex? Why do I struggle understanding the Bible and why do my peers know it so much better than me?"
These are just some of the things that I struggle with, but I am giving it to Christ. Like you, I have a lot to improve on with the help of Christ. We can only progress in a Godly way with His help. Right now though, I am struggling with the last question on the list. I am becoming hard on myself for not knowing the Word of God. Coming to Moody has opened my eyes to a million things I know nothing about. I literally struggle so much understanding the Bible, and for as long as I have known Christ... I feel like I should be way more ahead of the game than I am now. I came to Moody with knowing what the Gospel is, but that's just about it. I didn't have a consistent prayer life, or a consistent quiet time. I still don't have either in my life. I couldn't tell you what people are in the Bible, places, who the Jews/Gentiles are... I am Bible illiterate. With what I am learning about salvation, I feel like I get lost on if I am truly saved or not. I'm just confused.
But, God is working in my heart and is given me a hunger for Him and His Word. I truly have a hunger to make Him known around the world. And I know that Christ will continue to reveal Himself to me through my schoolwork and what I am learning at church as well as at Moody. By the work of the Holy Spirit, I believe He will give me a heart and a mind to understand what I am learning in my classes. He has placed professors and different people in my life that I can ask questions to as well. I just want to know Christ and know His Word as much as my peers do as much as people at church do. Sometimes though, I just don't know where to start. I am praying that God shows me and guides me with what to read in the Bible... I want to know all, but just starting is overwhelming.
Today though, I commit to reading the Bible everyday this month. Even if it's just for ten minutes, I want to be faithful to Christ. Even if I don't understand it, I want to read it and pray for understanding.
But, I don't really think it's realistic for me to jump from being this broken young adult girl who feels lost in the world with a list of things to progress, into being this confident college student. God is continuing to shape me into who He wants me to be, and is continuing to make me whole. As long as I am obedient to Him and His leading in all areas of my life, I think I am taking the right steps.
I really think that God is proud of my progress, and I think He is proud of YOUR progress as well. He delights in the steps that we are making towards Him. I'm not perfect, and will never be perfect. Perfection isn't attainable in this life. I firmly believe that it is all about the journey- the journey walked alongside Christ. As long as I'm walking with Him, I'm making progress. Progress in my life that actually matters.
I'm just going to trust the Lord to always lead me and guide me- to shape me more into the image of Christ. I hope that you do as well.
I'm just going to trust the Lord to always lead me and guide me- to shape me more into the image of Christ. I hope that you do as well.
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